Written by

Dr. Paul Dean  

Family matters, and makes a difference. Baptist Press reported that “Children living with both biological parents or adoptive parents who attend religious services regularly are less likely to exhibit problems at school or at home” according to a 2008 analysis of national data.

“The study by psychologist Nicholas Zill, the founder of Child Trends, and statistician Philip Fletcher found that children in such a situation — when compared to children not living with both parents and not attending religious services regularly — are 5.5 times less likely to have repeated a grade and 2.5 less likely to have had their parents contacted by the school because of a conduct or achievement problem. Additionally, intact families who have regular religious participation (defined as at least weekly or monthly) are less likely to report parental stress and more likely to report a ‘better parent-child relationship.” Further, “The authors said that children in an intact religious family ‘are more likely to exhibit positive social behavior, including showing respect for teachers and neighbors, getting along with other children, understanding other people’s feelings, and trying to resolve conflicts with classmates, family, or friends.’”

It should be no surprise that children from religious, intact families fare better. Sensible circumstances lead to better results than chaotic circumstances. Such a dynamic is owing to God’s common grace and the natural law He has built into this world. At the same time, special or saving grace is necessary to truly understand God and ourselves and implement His will in our lives in a way that pleases Him and produces the genuine, peaceable fruit of righteousness.

In God’s economy, the family plays a specific role. God calls human beings, and indeed Christians, to populate and subdue the earth for His glory and the good of man. The family provides a stabilizing force in an otherwise frenzied society. It is in the context of family that men and women learn the absolute necessity of being responsible adults and the onus upon them to train their children. It is through the family that the gospel is propagated in a visible way as Christ’s commitment to His church is magnified in loving relationships and as children are taught to fear the Lord.

There are some tremendous implications for your family in God’s command to take dominion over the earth. God has a role for you and your family to walk the road of life together and to subdue the earth together in some sense. It is the individualism of our culture that militates against such an understanding. And yet, God has a specific purpose for families together as families. Certainly we all have different roles within the family. But, those roles must mesh into this dynamic of togetherness if we are to honor God and find maximum fulfillment within our family life.

Above all others, Christian parents must see the significance of the family and bring their full attention to bear upon it. Too many of our children suffer for a lack of biblical focus in that context. While they generally do better than those in “dysfunctional” families as the survey indicates, in the end, they end up making shipwreck of their faith. As Christian parents you must learn the imperative of discipleship with particular reference to your children. Other research has revealed that ninety percent of evangelical youth walk away from Christ upon graduating high school. You must embrace and apply God’s admonition to you regarding your children: “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (Deut. 6:6-9).” Only then will your children fare better in an eternal sense.

Parents, you must learn that television, your own busy lives, and even working long hours rob you of time with your family. You are robbed of a growing and vital relationship with your spouse and children. Husbands and wives, you need to have a relationship apart from your children that you might enjoy your empty-nest years to the full. You must also prioritize the personal discipleship of your children that they might honor God, that your children might do the same even as adults, and that they might be filled with joy as their children grown in grace, again, even into adulthood. Let us not be committed to the world’s priorities but to God’s priorities. Such a commitment is the only path to true, temporal happiness and eternal fruit.

Written by

Dr. Paul Dean   

Low expectations; that’s what we have in this culture when it comes to children and/or teens. We don’t believe that children can comprehend the deep issues of life. This notion is particularly problematic in the church as we constantly play with our children in Sunday School or church rather than teach them the things of God. That trend continues in youth ministry as the primary focus is often entertainment. Such a dynamic leads to immature adults who need more than God’s word to keep them in church. They’ve been trained to be that way from their formative years.

But, the reality is that children can be trained to think and act in a mature manner particularly if they know Christ; for then they are strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit. Children can be taught a Christian worldview and they can make an impact for Christ.

Consider the recent story about a twelve year old girl who “has become a star at her school and on Youtube with her five-minute pro-life speech, crafted for a school competition. Despite discouragement and outright opposition, Lia’s presentation was so well done that she reportedly won the contest she was told she would be disqualified from, due to the ‘controversial’ message of her speech, (LifeSiteNews.com).”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOR1wUqvJS4

This young lady is an example for young people and adults alike. She is participating in the “as you go” part of the Great Commission. She is engaging our culture in her sphere of influence. Listen to her words: “‘What if I told you that right now, someone was choosing if you were gonna live or die?’. . .‘What if I told you that this choice wasn’t based on what you could or couldn’t do, what you’d done in the past, or what you would do in the future? And what if I told you, you could do nothing about it?’”

Lia offered cogent reasons to support the rights of unborn children and answered typical objections to the pro-life position. She addressed the unborn baby’s humanness, the issue of personal convenience, the denial of universal rights, and the fact that with rights we have obligations; namely, the duty to not take someone else’s rights to avoid one’s own responsibility.

This young girl has also set the example when it comes to standing for Christ in the face of opposition. Teachers told her the topic was too mature and controversial and that she would not be allowed to continue in the speech competition with that topic. Her mother encouraged her to find another subject but she refused saying that she would forfeit the opportunity to compete in order to share her heart. Further, during the school competition, one of the pro-choice judges refused to listen to the speech and left the panel.

As a side issue, this incident highlights the increasingly uphill battle we Christians face in this country. Free speech is foundational to our society. But, some feel the need to discourage it, suppress it, or walk away from it in protest. Of course, we must not wring our hands or resort to carnal weapons. We must simply be faithful to the Lord in what we do and how we do it.

She made an impact as well, something that we should ponder all the more seriously. “After the speech, which Lia’s family said was well-received by both students and teachers, the judges initially told Lia she had indeed been disqualified. But controversy among the judges eventually led to a reversal, and Lia’s family learned the next day that the panel agreed the girl deserved to win the competition.” But, more importantly, “the girl’s homeroom teacher was supportive of Lia’s speech even though she was pro-choice. ‘After helping Lia do the speech, it really got me thinking,’ the mom noted.”

Lia’s parents are pro-life Christians. We can’t know how they have trained their daughter (though the evidence looks pretty good). But, we can say two things. First, there are Daniel’s in the church; those who God raises up to take a stand despite being trained by pagans in a pagan environment. Second, the onus on Christian parents is to saturate their children with the word of God in the manner of Deut. 6:7 when they sit in the house, when they walk in the way, when they lie down, and when they rise up. That is how to raise expectations and make worldview warriors of our children.

Written by

Dr. Paul Dean

All true Christians become familiar with the Great Commission early in their spiritual lives. At the same time, there is another mandate in the Scriptures that is equally massive in terms of obligation and resulting implications: the dominion mandate of Gen. 1:28. Further, we are told by our Lord to be salt and light that men might see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven (Matt. 5:13-16). Certainly these directives are interconnected and are all grounded in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Yet, few believers understand the profound duty placed upon us in these areas. Neither do we realize the consequences for that failure of understanding. A large number of evangelicals shrink away from thinking about culture or seeing any onus placed upon them concerning cultural influence. Just what does it mean to be in the world but not of the world? While such influence must be accomplished in every sphere of our cultural context from the arts, to the markets, to the entertainment industry, to the sciences, to the political arena, etc., precious few see the necessity of such engagement or even care. A failure to see in this regard is the sure pathway to the marginalization and then ban of Christianity.  In short, we must involve ourselves in cultural engagement. Beyond the stated obvious, the question is: “why?”

1)    First, we must engage the culture because kingdom advance is why we’re here. There are two competing kingdoms in this world, God’s and Satan’s; through they are not on equal footing. Certainly God is sovereign over all things. Yet, He has chosen, through the person and work Christ, to advance His kingdom and that primarily through the influence of believers. He uses us to put His enemies under His feet through the preaching of the gospel (1 Cor. 15:25). If we fail to do so, the Kingdom of Satan continues to encroach upon the Kingdom of God in the world.

For example, the Kingdom of Darkness encroaches in regard to our biggest social issues. Simply consider a few of the massive concerns before us in this culture: abortion, euthanasia, cloning, the homosexual agenda, etc. Pharmacists are required in some places to dispense the morning after pill even if it violates their consciences. In these citations alone the moral breakdown of our culture combined with the erosion of personal liberty has served to advance evil in our culture in an unprecedented way.

Further, the Kingdom of Darkness encroaches in regard to our deepest philosophical commitments. One need only cite the dynamics of political correctness, postmodernism, hate speech legislation, and the like to sound the alarm. A day is fast approaching when the gospel itself will be banned in this country if the tide is not turned.

Perhaps the most chilling implication is that the Kingdom of Darkness encroaches in regard to our prized treasure: our children. A moral agenda vastly different from the average evangelical’s has taken hold in the public school system. Biblical values are out while evolution, socialism, and homosexuality are in.

Now, we are here to encroach on Satan’s kingdom with the power of Christ in the gospel of grace. Of course, we are not talking about forced Christianity. At issue here is gospel advance for the salvation of souls, the glory of God, and the betterment of the lives of all people in the society in which God has placed us. The better of the lives of others is implied in the preserving influence we have as the salt of the earth. Further, the Lord Jesus said, “I will build my church and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it (Matt. 16:18).” The picture here is that of the church advancing even as the gates of Hell attempt to hold that Kingdom from encroaching into its (so-called) territory. Those gates cannot keep Christ from accomplishing His purpose.

Again, in part, Christ accomplishes His purpose through us as He has given us a commission to make disciples of all nations. If we cannot see the degeneration of depraved man all around us and the need for gospel advance, then indeed we are the ones who are blind. At the same time, if we cannot affirm the power of Christ and His gospel and go forth with confidence then we do not understand who we are or what we have in the gospel. A definition of evangelism I’ve embraced and taught over the years is quite simple: “Being, doing, and telling the gospel of the Kingdom of God in order that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, persons and structures may be converted to the lordship of Jesus Christ.” Note the kingdom emphasis: “the gospel of the Kingdom of God.” The only way for persons and structures to be converted to the lordship of Christ is for God’s people to engage those persons and structures. We must engage in cultural engagement.

2)    Second, we must engage the culture because God deserves glory in every sphere. In the definition of evangelism cited above, not only are persons to be converted to the lordship of Christ but so too are structures. Of course, we could add the fact that ideas are to be converted as well. Paul noted, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:3-5).” If God deserves glory in every sphere, then He is to be acknowledged in every sphere. Such a truth has great implications for prayer from a Christian at the opening of a football game or council meeting. Further, if God deserves glory in every sphere, then He is to be influential in every sphere. Of course God has influence in those spheres in which His people are engaged: hence the need for cultural engagement.

3)    Third, we must engage the culture because Christians are misguided in their approach. Some Christians understand the need of the hour and are engaging the culture. The problem lies in the fact that they are taking the wrong tack. Christ Himself said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I should not be delivered to the Jews; but now My kingdom is not from here (Jn. 18:36).” Christ is not building a physical kingdom but a spiritual one.

Many evangelicals have the wrong goal when it comes to cultural engagement. Too often the goal is a mere moral nation through government coercion. Or, too often the goal is a completely Christian nation through government coercion. Dr. Tom Nettles once said to me, “We glory in a pluralistic society.” Did he say that because he is a pluralist or because he did not want souls to be saved? No. He made such a statement because we cannot force anyone to be a Christian nor do we have the right to make such an attempt. Not only is the Holy Spirit the only One who can accomplish such a transformation but the New Testament advocates freedom for all human beings. Persons have the freedom to be wrong about who God is.

Other evangelicals are wrong in their method. While Christians must be active in the political arena, they must never come to believe that politics or government can or will change the world. We want Christian influence in the public square but such influence must always be connected to the lordship of Christ and the exposition of the gospel in that context. At the same time, co-belligerence, that is, partnering with those of other faiths for social change will not do in this effort. Our efforts in regard to social issues must never be divorced from the gospel we believe. Partnering with unbelievers even for a good cause will necessarily compromise the gospel we must preach in that framework.

So, we must engage the culture. Part of that requires that we point out to our brothers and sisters in Christ the error of their approach and do it right for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ.

4)    Fourth, we must engage the culture because we need not waste our lives. A major problem, even in biblically sound churches today, is that the vast majority of individuals are focused on themselves rather than kingdom advance. The pursuit of the American Dream supersedes pursuit of the gospel. We need a fresh understanding of why God put us here and the reward we stand to gain on that great day.

Don’t waste your life! At the end of your days, you will not regret the things you did but you will most certainly regret the things you did not do. This reality will hold true with particular reference to what you do or do not do for the sake of kingdom advance if you are a true believer.  Paul wrote, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is (Eph. 5:15-17).”

Martin Hinton, the British churchman who decided that the bible is just too intimidating for modern readers produced the “100 Minute Bible.” Len Budd, publisher of the slimmed-down bible, admitted that much had been lost in the reduction. “Is it a dumbing down of the Bible? Yes, but that’s the world today. Although we as Christians love the Bible it is very user-unfriendly. People just don’t have time to read it. If this book means more people can answer pub quiz questions on the Bible, so much the better.” So, that’s the point? It appears that the purpose behind this project was something closer to cultural literacy than evangelism/kingdom advance. The new edition is “not an evangelical document,” Mr. Budd explained.

In reading something like the above, we might well ask, “Is there a need for cultural engagement even among Christians?” O how there most undoubtedly is. Don’t waste your life answering pub questions when as a believer you have the answers to life’s ultimate questions. Engage the culture.

Some are urging American parents to adopt a different way to talk about sex with teens, according to the New York Times. “Rachel Phelps (who works at Planned Parenthood in the United States) concludes that while American parents, advertisers and public-service announcements aim to scare teens, those in Europe are matter of fact and humorous.” The European approach is to be open about sex, talk about having it at the right time, and promote the use of condoms in a humorous way. European parents are not concerned with preventing their teens from having sex; their concern is that they be prepared when they do. Ninety percent of Dutch parents allow their children to have romantic sleepovers provided the child is at least sixteen and in a committed, loving relationship.

The benefits of such an approach are predictably hyped: higher use of birth control, lower pregnancy rates, and lower STD rates. Of course, if teen sex is expected and the use of birth control is seen as part of that equation, then the statistics are not surprising.

There is one other statistic of note: the percentage of those teens who wished they had waited longer to have sex is 63% and 69% of American boys and girls respectively compared to only 5% and 12% of boys and girls in the Netherlands. These figures offer further reason to adopt the European approach in the minds of those arguing for it; American attitudes toward sex are part of the problem and creating bad experiences for American teens.

But is that sentiment really true? It’s certainly regrettable that pregnancy and STD rates are higher among American teens. But is it regrettable they feel bad about not waiting to have sex? When we do things that are wrong we should feel bad. European teens don’t feel bad about having sex because the culture no longer views it as sinful. American teens have pangs of conscience due to at least two things. First, while a biblical worldview is fast eroding in America, there is a hold-over for many in terms of attitudes about sex. Second, there are still those in America who teach that premarital sex is wrong and thereby have some influence on American sexual attitudes.

One’s conscience is only as good as the teaching it receives. When persons reject God’s way, they’re consciences become seared and God gives them over to gross immorality (1 Tim. 4:2; Rom. 1:24f). It’s interesting to note the number one reason cited for divorce in many European countries, including the Netherlands, is infidelity. That reason is far down the list in America. Further, cohabitation rates are higher in Europe while marriage rates are higher in America. Beyond that, birthrates in America far exceed those in Europe where they don’t even reach the replacement rate. (It’s to the point of crisis in some European countries). The biblical worldview has been non-existent in Europe for decades. One need only look at the results there to see what’s coming here and this push is more evidence of that reality.

The church has an opportunity to reassert God’s perspective on this issue with a view toward teaching our fellow-citizens all that is right and good about sex: it’s a gift from God — in the context of marriage. But think further; if sex is embraced in that way, then teen pregnancy and STD rates will drop dramatically. Beyond that, the heartbreak of numerous sexual encounters will drop as well. Marriages will be more stable; (it’s easy to be unfaithful and divorce when you’ve been promiscuous and broken up with partners on numerous occasions prior to marriage). When God’s way is adopted, people see the sexual encounter as part of a larger commitment. The blessings of happy, faithful, and long-term relationships far outweigh the momentary gratification of multiple sexual encounters. Just ask those who don’t have those blessings.

Of course, it’s important for Christians to live pure lives, imitating God (Eph. 5:1). Premarital sex should not be hinted at among Christians (v. 3). Those who regularly engage in such prove they don’t belong to Christ and will not be saved (vv. 5-6). Paul admonishes us not to be deceived with empty, (in this case, European), words telling us that premarital sex is okay; it’s because of such things that His wrath is coming (v. 6).

More than that, we’re here to promote God’s ways in this culture. Imitating Him helps us to do that and says to the world there is true joy and power over temptation in Christ. We’re to walk around in love and not selfish immorality just as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us as a sweet-smelling aroma to God (Eph. 5:2). We do that by loving others as opposed to treating them as sexual objects to satisfy our own selfish desires (vv. 2-3).

Here’s the picture. You can walk around and stink up the place by being like the world. (Is there anyone who likes to be around someone who needs a shower)? Or, you can be like God, walk in sacrificial love, and be a sweet-smelling aroma. (Who doesn’t enjoy something that smells good)? When we promote the ways of God, we’re a sweet-smelling aroma to our world and to Him.

Practically, we explain that we’re not trying to spoil the fun. Rather, we’re seeking to make clear that there is no greater joy than Christ Himself. And, the byproduct of knowing Christ is living in such away that maximizes your joy. So, we’re not prudish or Victorian about sex. We give God thanks for it (v. 4). But we can only experience its real pleasures and joys if we use it as God intended: a physical demonstration of the life-long, joy-filled, shame-overcoming, freely-trusting, emotionally-satisfying, one-flesh relationship that husbands and wives have — which is a picture of what we have in Christ. And that’s truly a different way to talk about sex.