The issue of marriage with particular reference to a constitutional amendment banning homosexual marriage is dangerous for conservative Christians who disagree with the majority who are in favor of such an amendment. It’s dangerous in that one who is not in favor of banning homosexual marriage is considered to be in favor of homosexual marriage, liberal, and unbiblical, none of which is the case. To favor a ban on homosexual marriage is actually the unbiblical position despite the fact that homosexuality is indeed sin and not marriage according to God Himself. Let me explain.

This issue comes up most often in conversation surrounding political candidates and their positions on social issues. It’s not uncommon for Christian pundits to agree with certain candidates who are conservative in a number of areas but castigate them profusely when those same candidates don’t support a government ban on homosexual marriage. The argument in favor of the ban usually centers on two issues: the fact that homosexuality is sin and the assertion that government has a responsibility to promote the general welfare by promoting institutions that give stability to society.

Let’s take the issue of homosexuality first. As noted, the Bible is clear that homosexuality and homosexual marriage is sin. Scriptures could be marshaled from both the Old and New Testaments. Despite the fact that liberal and unbelieving theologians have unsuccessfully tried to twist the plain meaning of Rom. 1:26-27 in which God condemns homosexuality, 1 Cor. 6:9 boldly says that homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God. Christians cannot support homosexual marriage. Such a marriage is not only sin but not marriage at all. God defines marriage between a man and a woman (Gen. 2:24; Eph. 5:31). However, that does not mean Christians must favor a government ban on homosexual marriage. Stay with me . . .

What about the assertion that government has a responsibility to promote the general welfare by promoting institutions that give stability to society? While the Constitution does say one of the reasons it was established is to promote the general welfare, the founding fathers did not define that promotion as broadly as some do today. They did not conceive of entitlement programs or policies that restrict liberty as part of government’s role. (And, while marriage is a stabilizing force in society in the sense that long-term commitment of men and women raising children fosters stability, banning homosexual marriage won’t keep homosexuals from living together or somehow stabilize society. A ban won’t change their behavior).

But, regardless of what the founders meant, or what a ban on homosexual marriage may or may not do, what does the Bible say? Where does the Bible say the role of government is to promote the general welfare? Where does the Bible say the government has a responsibility to promote institutions that give stability to society? You can’t argue from the Old Testament; America does not stand in the same covenant relationship with God that Israel did. America is not a theocracy. You can’t argue from the New Testament; no where does it say government should promote the general welfare. Even Rom. 13:4 doesn’t say that.[1]

God says that Christians who practice homosexuality must be disciplined by the church and even put out if they don’t repent. But, nowhere does God say the government should ban homosexuality. He does say that Christians should call homosexuals to repentance and faith in Christ but no where does He say Christians should outlaw their behavior.

Let’s talk about marriage then. Marriage is defined by God, not the government. As noted, homosexual marriage then is not marriage before God. So how should Christians think about homosexuals who “get married?” We think about them the same way we think about other sinners and their sinful activity. People do all kinds of things contrary to the Word of God and we try to persuade them through the gospel to repent and look to Christ for salvation. Just because a homosexual couple calls themselves married doesn’t mean they are. And why would we ban them calling themselves married? Do we want the government to ban heterosexual couples living together; or unbiblical divorce; or adultery; or pre-marital relations? What would be the penalty for pre-marital relations? We have to be consistent if we go down the road of banning immoral behavior.

Now, does that mean we’re in favor of unmarried couples living together, unbiblical divorce, adultery, or pre-marital relations? Of course not! It simply means we don’t want the government forcing our moral choices. Christians have the responsibility to tell people what’s right and wrong, not force them by the government to conform to our moral standard. Certainly the government must protect us from things like murder, theft, rape, extortion, etc. But that’s what it means to be free. We’re not free to infringe on someone else’s liberty and right to life, property, and pursuit of happiness. That’s why we can’t murder (abort babies), steal, or . . . ban homosexuals from living together or marrying. Again, we’re not in favor of homosexual marriage any more than we’re in favor of pre-marital relations. But, neither are we in favor of government imposing a moral standard on us. What happens when the government’s moral standard is different than ours? What if the government decides it’s immoral to read the Bible, homeschool my children, or teach them Christian values?

But more importantly than what we want is what God wants. He wants us to persuade others with the gospel to make good moral choices, not force them through the government.

Finally, here’s the real implication of banning homosexual marriage or letting government say anything about marriage at all: if we allow the government to define marriage, we allow the government to usurp God’s role and authority. It is not the government that defines marriage but God. Let the government stay completely out of it. Practically, do you want the government telling you who you can or cannot marry; that you can or cannot get married? Do you really need a license from the government to get married? Didn’t God ordain marriage before human government came along? And theologically/philosophically, if we allow the government to define marriage, then it can define it any way it wants to.

No, we have the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness granted to us by God, not the government. If government grants those rights, then the government can take them away. Let’s not go down that road. Let God be God and let Him define marriage and what’s right and wrong. Let the government stay out of God’s business and maintain liberty by protecting us so that we can persuade others what marriage is and what’s right and wrong and to give their lives to Christ. When others give their lives to Christ, that’s when society will be more moral and truly more stable.

Written by

Dr. Paul Dean

Have you noticed how the world treats the issue of forgiveness? On television for example, it’s almost a virtue to withhold forgiveness particularly if the offense is especially hurtful. The idea is that we somehow participate in the offense if we forgive it; or that forgiveness for certain acts is unforgivable in itself.

Of course, there are those who withhold forgiveness because they feel it’s their right to do so. “Do you expect me to forgive you” is an oft repeated line. No one questions the right of the offended party to deny the request. In fact, people knowingly nod their heads in approval and focus on what the offender deserves.

And yes, we Christians know that the offender does not deserve forgiveness: ever. We also know there are consequences for sin. Yet, what sets us apart from the world is the obligation and compulsion to forgive. We forgive others because God’s forgiven us. That’s what it means to be a Christian. We’ve been forgiven, not because we deserve it, but because God is gracious. And, because God has changed us, we can’t help but forgive others.

It’s not a virtue to withhold forgiveness any more than it’s a virtue to sin against God or hurt someone. When we forgive, we don’t participate in the commission of the offense. We do bear it though. Just as the one seeking forgiveness bears the burden of guilt, we bear the burden of not allowing our being hurt to come between us and the offending party. In granting forgiveness, we don’t let people off the hook nor do we wipe away any consequences that might be in effect. In fact, we acknowledge that there is an offense simply by saying the offending party needs forgiveness. We acknowledge it and bear it at the same time.

Now, we can’t actually grant forgiveness if someone has not sought it (though we are required to rid our hearts of ill feelings and be willing to forgive). When we do grant forgiveness, in addition to not letting the offense come between us, we’re saying we won’t gossip about it, we won’t hold a grudge, and we won’t bring it up in the future. That’s the way God treats us.

Neither do we have the right to withhold forgiveness. It’s not up to us. Nor can we let our feelings rule. We may feel so hurt that forgiveness is impossible for us. But we go to God; we get His help; we do what He tells us we must do. And, in so doing, not only do we put His character on display, but we actually feel better; we get the joy of being where God wants us to be.

We also set ourselves apart from the world, not in a prideful way, but in a way that says to the world that we do hurt each other. All of us do that. But, relationships can be restored by the power of God. That’s what God’s done for us; He’s reconciled believers to Himself and given them peace with Him and others. That reconciliation can only truly be had in Christ. The Lord Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the sons of God” (Matt. 5:9).

Do you want to promote God’s ways in the world? Then put His power on display; be quick to forgive others. That’s a real virtue. And yes, God does expect His people to forgive.

Written by

Dr. Paul Dean  

Family matters, and makes a difference. Baptist Press reported that “Children living with both biological parents or adoptive parents who attend religious services regularly are less likely to exhibit problems at school or at home” according to a 2008 analysis of national data.

“The study by psychologist Nicholas Zill, the founder of Child Trends, and statistician Philip Fletcher found that children in such a situation — when compared to children not living with both parents and not attending religious services regularly — are 5.5 times less likely to have repeated a grade and 2.5 less likely to have had their parents contacted by the school because of a conduct or achievement problem. Additionally, intact families who have regular religious participation (defined as at least weekly or monthly) are less likely to report parental stress and more likely to report a ‘better parent-child relationship.” Further, “The authors said that children in an intact religious family ‘are more likely to exhibit positive social behavior, including showing respect for teachers and neighbors, getting along with other children, understanding other people’s feelings, and trying to resolve conflicts with classmates, family, or friends.’”

It should be no surprise that children from religious, intact families fare better. Sensible circumstances lead to better results than chaotic circumstances. Such a dynamic is owing to God’s common grace and the natural law He has built into this world. At the same time, special or saving grace is necessary to truly understand God and ourselves and implement His will in our lives in a way that pleases Him and produces the genuine, peaceable fruit of righteousness.

In God’s economy, the family plays a specific role. God calls human beings, and indeed Christians, to populate and subdue the earth for His glory and the good of man. The family provides a stabilizing force in an otherwise frenzied society. It is in the context of family that men and women learn the absolute necessity of being responsible adults and the onus upon them to train their children. It is through the family that the gospel is propagated in a visible way as Christ’s commitment to His church is magnified in loving relationships and as children are taught to fear the Lord.

There are some tremendous implications for your family in God’s command to take dominion over the earth. God has a role for you and your family to walk the road of life together and to subdue the earth together in some sense. It is the individualism of our culture that militates against such an understanding. And yet, God has a specific purpose for families together as families. Certainly we all have different roles within the family. But, those roles must mesh into this dynamic of togetherness if we are to honor God and find maximum fulfillment within our family life.

Above all others, Christian parents must see the significance of the family and bring their full attention to bear upon it. Too many of our children suffer for a lack of biblical focus in that context. While they generally do better than those in “dysfunctional” families as the survey indicates, in the end, they end up making shipwreck of their faith. As Christian parents you must learn the imperative of discipleship with particular reference to your children. Other research has revealed that ninety percent of evangelical youth walk away from Christ upon graduating high school. You must embrace and apply God’s admonition to you regarding your children: “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (Deut. 6:6-9).” Only then will your children fare better in an eternal sense.

Parents, you must learn that television, your own busy lives, and even working long hours rob you of time with your family. You are robbed of a growing and vital relationship with your spouse and children. Husbands and wives, you need to have a relationship apart from your children that you might enjoy your empty-nest years to the full. You must also prioritize the personal discipleship of your children that they might honor God, that your children might do the same even as adults, and that they might be filled with joy as their children grown in grace, again, even into adulthood. Let us not be committed to the world’s priorities but to God’s priorities. Such a commitment is the only path to true, temporal happiness and eternal fruit.