Perhaps no recent statement has better captured so glaringly the bent of our culture than Pat Robertson’s advice to a man whose wife has Alzheimer’s: “he should divorce her and start all over again.” This counsel has generated great outrage and much scrutiny to be sure. But it’s that same cruel sentiment of self-centeredness that underlies most of the decisions we make and attitudes we take in this culture as a whole and in our everyday lives as individuals. All Robertson has done is to reveal just how much we’ve bought into the spirit of the age without realizing it. If you stand in the rain long enough, you’ll get soaked. And what’s worse, not only have we bought into the self-centered spirit of the age, even if we’re appalled by Robertson’s statement as we should be, it’s our captivity to that spirit that robs us of real joy when we’re going through a tragic time in our lives.

It was a man seeing another woman because his wife has Alzheimer’s that prompted the question Robertson was answering. Such self-centeredness is not unusual when dealing with an ailing or dying spouse. In twenty years of pastoral ministry, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and there’s a lot of ugly in these kinds of circumstances. This man has abandoned his wife through adultery and Robertson has advised him to abandon her through divorce. But I’ve seen others abandon their spouses by sticking them in nursing homes and forgetting about them, by ignoring them in their greatest moments of need, by getting on with their lives and leaving the care of their life-partners to others, by refusing to spend time with them or visit them if they have to be in a health-care facility of some kind, by expressing anger and frustration at them for things beyond their control, by not seeking to understand what’s going on with their ailing loved ones or how to deal with it in a caring way, and so much more.

I had a woman tell me some time back she couldn’t give her husband his much needed medication during the night because she needed her sleep. How much sleep does a new mother get? A man told me he didn’t want his wife coming home from the hospital for some recuperation before an upcoming surgery because he didn’t want to have to physically help her out of bed two or three times a day. Inability is one thing but unwillingness is something else. And these sentiments are not that uncommon; that’s the cultural air we breathe.

We’re told in the Scriptures that “in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves” (2 Tim. 3:1-2). When a Christian minister tells a man to forsake his vows before God and abandon his wife in her greatest hour of need, we do indeed live in perilous times; we do indeed love ourselves more than God and others. And that is exactly the wrong way to find peace and joy: to focus on self and abandon God and others.

Such focus is the complete opposite of the gospel. Robertson said this man’s wife with Alzheimer’s was dead to him. The gospel tells us that God loved us when we were unlovable. He demonstrated His great love for us by dying for us while we were dead to Him (Rom. 5:8). And marriage is a picture of the gospel and Christ’s love for His bride, the church; He will never leave us or forsake us. To forsake your spouse is to deny the very thing marriage is to display: God’s unfailing love for His people. It is to deny the reality of God Himself.

Think about this: what puts God’s character and power on display more: abandoning one’s wife because he’s not happy (for obviously God wants us to be happy); or giving all you have to care for your wife because she can’t care for herself? But here’s an equally significant question: from where does real joy come? Doesn’t it come from glorifying God; from putting His character on display and finding your satisfaction in Him? Jesus is the true water that satisfies (Jn. 4:10); the true bread that alleviates your hunger (Jn. 6:51); and the true treasure in the field (Matt. 13:44). In Him is pleasure forever (Ps. 16:11).

Does joy come in chasing personal pleasures at the expense of others? Is there ultimate peace in that? Does one lay up treasure in heaven by chasing after a new woman because he’s tired of the old one? Ponder carefully these words: “By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward” (Heb. 11:24-26). That’s how you find joy when your spouse is dying: you trust the promises and God and live them out; you know and believe that chasing personal pleasure at the expense of God and others brings only a momentary happiness; you know and believe that even suffering under the providential care of Christ is better than the temporary pleasure of sin; and you keep your eyes on the reward which is Christ Himself and life (joy) in Him long after your momentary suffering is over.

Our culture has sold us a lie. Is it really all about me? Isn’t this self-focus rooted in evolutionary thought; in survival of the fittest (me)? Isn’t abandoning your spouse with Alzheimer’s because, as Robertson says, “she’s gone” the same logic as the promoters of abortion use? They argue an unborn, and depending upon whose making the argument, even a live-born baby isn’t able to operate at the same mental level as you or me and is therefore not a fully-functioning person and is therefore able to be discarded without any moral consequences. If inconvenient babies can be aborted, why can’t inconvenient spouses be abandoned? Such is the lie Satan is selling in clever disguise in the thousand ways we are selfish every day. God says the way to find joy is to do nothing “through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind, consider others better than yourself. Look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:3-5).

My wife told me the other day if I was stricken by something catastrophic that she would not abandon me. If she had to help me out of bed she would do her best. She said we might hit the floor together but she would be there for me. I would do the same for her. Not caring for her would never enter my mind. None of us want to have to go through these things, but if my wife and I have to for one reason or another, and we end up hitting the floor together, what a day of joy that will be – because we’ll be living out the gospel – together.

Twenty-five years ago my father suffered a major heart-attack and needed by-pass surgery. That’s a frightening prospect for anyone at anytime. Even so in his case, because the technology wasn’t where it is today and his heart was so damaged, the weight of the whole thing was particularly heavy. You can imagine the anxiety we were feeling.

A few of days before the surgery a man from our church stopped by the house. He had heard about our situation and wanted to share some things with us. It turns out that he had suffered a heart-attack and had been through by-pass surgery just a couple of years earlier. Very slowly and carefully, he told my dad everything that was going to happen; everything he would experience. He not only told him what the doctors would do but what each phase of the process would feel like. For example, “When you first wake up from the surgery,” he said, “you’ll feel like you’re drowning because you’ll have a big tube stuck down your throat. Your tendency will be to fight it, but that will only make it worse. Just try to relax and you’ll adjust.” As he continued to tell my father what to expect, he talked to him about the goodness of the Lord and how God had comforted him throughout his ordeal. He told him that God would do the same for him, and He did.

We had never met this man before that day; we were new to the church and it was very large on top of that. After he prayed with us and was ready to leave, my father asked him why he came by. He said that God had ministered to him during his time of need and he wanted to do the same for someone else. I didn’t know it at the time, but the Bible actually says that one of the reasons we suffer is so that with the comfort God gives us we can comfort others. That’s exactly what Jack was doing that day. In God’s providence, one of the reasons this man had suffered a heart attack was so that he could minister to us in just the right way at just the right time. Paul said, “If we are afflicted, it is for your consolation” (1 Cor. 1:6). Just before that he said, God “comforts us in all our tribulation, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (v. 4).

Why does God let you suffer? One of the reasons he allows us to go through the trial is so that He can comfort us. He’s the only One who can give true comfort, peace, and assurance during a storm. He wants us weaned from this earth and dependent on Him because He’s better than anything the world has to offer. He wants us to get the true joy and satisfaction of being comforted by Him. His presence and ministry to our hearts is even better than being delivered from the trial. It’s hard for us to imagine such, but it’s the truth. He wants us to know His peace in our hearts. That’s a very different thing than peace based on circumstances. God gives peace despite our circumstances. But He doesn’t stop there. As He gives us comfort, He wants us to turn our attention to others and minister to them. He wants us to comfort others with the comfort He’s given us.

Sometimes it’s hard to give words of real comfort to others if we haven’t suffered ourselves. It’s not impossible; the Word of God is the thing that has the authority and carries the weight and power by the Holy Spirit when we speak to others in their grief. But God uses people to minister to people and he uses people who have suffered to minister to those who are suffering in a similar way.

My father-in-law passed away this week. I’ve spoken many words of comfort to my precious mother-in-law and God’s Word has an entrance into her heart. But, when my mother speaks to her and tells her how she’s going to make it, those words have a special affect because my mother is speaking from experience. She lost her husband (my father) almost twelve years ago. It was tough, but God gave her strength. She is now able to testify to my mother-in-law of that strength; that strength that the Lord will definitely give. And, I have no doubt that my mother-in-law will have some comforting words to share with another grieving widow down the road.

Think about this: I had a tumor in my spine a few years ago. The pain was excruciating and I got to the point where I couldn’t walk. But then I had surgery and I’m better than ever now! About a year later, my neurosurgeon called me and said a woman was suffering from the same thing I had and she was very anxious about going under the knife. She wanted to know if I would talk to her. I can’t describe how thankful I was that God had allowed me to go through that trial. I was able to tell that women how she was feeling physically because I had been through it; I was able to tell her what I felt like now; I was able to tell her how God had met me and given me peace; I was able to do for her what Jack had done for my dad! And I’m not kidding when I say that it was an absolute joy to be able to do so. I had to suffer prior to that to be able to minister in that way, but what a pay-off – to give the comfort that God had given me to someone else.

Why does God allow you to suffer? So you can one day experience the joy – the sheer joy – of sharing Christ in a unique way with someone else who is suffering. God will comfort you so you can comfort someone else for their good and His glory.

The old saying “when it rains it pours” seems to be true sometimes when it comes to the trials we face in life. There are occasions when we seem to be in one trial and get hit with another. That feeling or reality, as the case may be, is not far from what James actually tells us. He lovingly says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials” (Jas. 1:2).

Two of the words James uses are powerfully descriptive. The word “fall” is a compound word in the Greek: peripipto. The word pipto means “fall” and the little prefix peri means “around.” It’s the prefix we use in words like perimeter or periscope. The picture I get is trials falling all around us like rain. If you think about rain, there is space in between each raindrop. However, because there are so many raindrops and they are so closely spaced together, you can’t help but get hit by some of them. So too, because we live in a fallen world with trials falling all around us, we can’t help but get hit by some of them. Indeed, when it rains it pours!

The other descriptor is “various.” It means multi-faceted or multi-colored. It’s the same word used in the Greek translation of the Old Testament to describe Joseph’s coat of many colors. As we go through life, we get hit by raining trials that are multi-colored. In other words, we face many different kinds of trials. The truth is that you are just coming out of a trial, in the midst of one, or about to go into one. That’s not a thrilling prospect, I know.

But, James tells us to “count it all joy when we fall into various trials.” What in the world does he mean? How can I be happy about pain and suffering? How can I be happy when devastating things are going on in my life? Well, he doesn’t tell us to be happy; he tells us to “count it all joy” and that’s something very different. The word “count” is a term used in the courtroom and in the accounting field. In the courtroom, a guilty man may be counted or declared innocent. He may be one thing but he’s counted another. In the accounting world it refers to putting something on one side of the ledger or other. James says that we are to look at the difficulties we face and declare them joy; put them on the joy side of the ledger; or in simple terms, to consider them joy. Trials are not joyful but we are to consider them as joy.

Now before we unravel what James is saying completely, we have to understand that joy and happiness are two different things. James is not saying be happy in or about your trials. There are some circumstances where it would be extremely difficult if not impossible to be happy.

Besides, God gives us emotions for a reason. Of course, we must control our emotions and not let them get the best of us. For example, grief is good and is an expression of the very real loss we experience as human beings in relation to others or even ourselves. But depression resulting from grief is not good. A depressed person has lost hope; he’s lost the will to fulfill his God-given responsibilities. God doesn’t want us in that state and is there to strengthen us if we look to Him. Part of looking to Him is thinking rightly about our trials and that’s what James is getting at.

So James recognizes that heartache is just that: heartache. We can’t always be happy about our circumstances. What James is getting at is joy. Christian joy is the certain knowledge that God is in control and nothing has happened to us that He did not allow for a good purpose in our life; that He loves us more than we could ever imagine; and that we can trust Him to do what is best and right no matter what. We get peace in knowing these things. That’s joy.

That helps. But how can we really count our tough times joy? James says we can do that because we know “that the testing of our faith produces endurance.” Part of the reason God allows trials to come into our lives is to test our faith. The second half of that is to produce endurance in us. He tests our faith not so that He will know whether or not we are trusting Him (He knows already), but so that we will know how much or how little we are trusting Him. He tests us for our benefit. In the trial, we really learn where our focus is; we really learn where our hope is; we really learn where our peace, joy, and satisfaction is. If we find our trust is in Him and not ourselves or something else, we get real happiness from that. If we find our trust is in something other than Him, we turn our hearts to Him and find peace in so doing. The test helps us see.

Then, the benefit of being tested is what it ultimately produces in us: endurance. This word in the Greek is also compound and means to bear up under the load. God tests us with trials along the way to produce in us a greater and greater ability to bear up under the load of suffering. That’s important because suffering is simply a part of this life. At the same time, the Bible says that believers must enter the kingdom through much tribulation (Acts 14:22) and that suffering is part of what it means to be a Christian; we participate in the sufferings of Christ (2 Cor. 1:5). But the good news is those sufferings will give way to great reward when we see Christ face to face (2 Cor. 4:17).

We need endurance to make it all the way to the end of life without laying down and dying from depression and without walking away from the Lord Jesus Himself. If life were a hundred-yard-dash it would be easy. We need no endurance for that. But it’s not; life is a marathon: a long-distance race; and we do need endurance for that.

Have you ever thought about what a coach does with a marathon runner? He doesn’t make him run twenty-six miles the first day of practice. But, he does put him through a workout. It doesn’t feel good; it’s tough. And the next day they do it all over again and as the days go by the Coach adds to the runner’s regimen. He makes him run further distances; he times him and makes him run those distances faster; he does interval work, pace work, and sprint work. He puts him in the weight room and then he makes him run some more. It’s tough on this runner; it’s not pleasant; he’s not happy. But, he does have joy – because he knows that what he’s going through is going to give him endurance to run the marathon. And when he runs the marathon with endurance, he gets the gold medal.

Paul says we work for a medal (crown) that’s imperishable (1 Cor. 9:25).We’re told in Hebrews to run the race with endurance. How? By looking unto Jesus, our great reward (Heb. 12:1-2). That’s why James says “Let endurance have its perfect work in you that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (v. 4). That’s what God is doing; He’s getting you to the victor’s stand – and that’s something to look forward to.

Christians go through trials and sufferings of all kinds in this life. This fact is the cause of confusion and indeed alarm to some. They’ve been told that Christians can live a life of health and wealth. Others have been told that life is overflowing with happiness, is filled with good things, and is basically care-free once a person comes to faith in Christ. So what does it mean when a Christian suffers? Some wonder if their faith is real; others come to the conclusion that God is punishing them for their sin; and still others figure God Himself is the problem — either He’s a liar or He’s not real.

The truth is that the Bible never promises that Christians won’t suffer. On the contrary, not only do all people suffer in this life, but Christians may suffer even more simply because they are Christians. In 2 Tim. 3:12, Paul says that all who are godly in Christ will suffer (persecution). James says that trials are merely a part of life (Jas. 1:2). Beyond that, God says He even brings us into trials (Zech. 13:9). But there is still an open question isn’t there? Why does God bring trials into the lives of those who have been redeemed? We can understand why unbelievers might suffer; but why does God allow His children to suffer?

There are a number of reasons why God takes His people through the fire. One of those reasons has to do with His glory. In Jn. 2:1-7, we’re given an informative account concerning this question.

Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him. I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” When He had said these things, He spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay. And He said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which is translated, Sent). So he went and washed, and came back seeing.

Here’s a man who was born blind; he’s suffered a great deal. The disciples ask an interesting question of Jesus: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?” You can see that their thoughts concerning why people suffer are not unlike some of the thoughts that we might have. They simply assumed that this man had committed some horrible sin or he wouldn’t be suffering this way. He is no doubt being punished for sinning against God. If he’s not being punished, then the fault must lie with his parents; they must be the ones who committed some atrocity or else he would be able to see.

Don’t overlook Jesus’ first statement: “Neither this man nor his parents sinned.” It is true that all human beings are born spiritually dead in sin (Eph. 2:1-3) as the result of Adam’s sin and that all suffering in this world is related to that original sin (Rom. 5:12; 8:20-22). But a person is not born disabled because of personal sin. In other words, God doesn’t punish sin that way. Someone can be born disabled if her mother takes drugs during pregnancy. But that is the result of a destructive and sinful action that has physical consequences in a fallen world. That kind of thing relates to human sin, namely Adam’s and the universal affects of it. But God is not punishing a mother for drug use when her child is born disabled. Another mom could take drugs and her baby be born with no disabilities at all.

In the case before us, Jesus went on to say the man was born blind so “that the works of God could be revealed in him.” God was going to perform a miracle in this man’s life through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus healed the blind man to demonstrate the reality of who He is: the Light of the World.

And that’s the primary reason God takes His people through tough times: to show the world through them who He is. He may show people who He is in your life by enabling you to suffer with confidence and peace before others. I know a woman in her twenties who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She was expecting her first child. Her prayer was that she would live long enough to deliver the baby. She actually died before full term, but the baby was saved. That’s a sad and painful story to be sure. But the glorious thing about it had to do with her faith and the faith of her husband. While in the hospital, they were a confident testimony to the grace and power of God at work in the lives of His people. After her death, a man told the husband he’d been watching them. He was about to divorce his wife whom he couldn’t stand. He came to realize he needed Christ in his life. He placed his faith in the Lord, committed to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and asked for God’s help to do so; and God brought it about. This man is not perfect, but He’s a new man in Christ and is lovingly committed to his wife. The works of God were revealed in and through the suffering of that precious young couple.

Who knows how God might display His grace and power in your life when you suffer? It’s so important because everyone needs to see who God is. There are people who need the Lord and may see Him through your ordeal. God could heal you for His glory or He could give you an opportunity to talk to others about Him because of your suffering. He could give you opportunity to serve Him, with joy, in a way you had not thought of prior to your trial. I suffered terrible back pain for over a year even getting to a point of paralysis. I couldn’t sleep much at all. Because my family was sleeping quite well at the time, I had nothing to do in the middle of the night. So, I took to writing a little more. In fact, my productivity level soared! Ultimately, I had surgery and can walk just fine now. But I wouldn’t trade that year for anything. God was so gracious to show His power in me in so many ways during that time.

Just remember: your suffering is not pointless. There are many things God is doing in your life through your hardship. But the most fundamental is that He is working in and through you in such a way as to make known to others just how real He is. And just perhaps, He is doing the same thing for you.